What To Say to a Friend in an Unhealthy Relationship

Are you concerned about a friend in an unhealthy relationship? Whether they are struggling with an abusive, controlling, or toxic partner, it’s essential to know what to say to support them.

Alt: An angry woman and a chatting man in an unhealthy relationship are seated in a park.

Are you concerned about a friend in a toxic or unhealthy relationship?

Friendship is a valuable gift, and when one of your closest friends is stuck in an unhealthy relationship, it can be a heart-wrenching experience.

Whether they are struggling with an abusive, controlling, or simply toxic partner, it's essential to know the right things to say to support them. With love, care, and a listening ear, you can help your friend take the first steps towards healing and a better future."

However, knowing if your friend is in an unhealthy relationship and how to support them can be difficult. It can be hard to detect the warning signs of abusive relationships, and assessing the situation can lead to confusion. But as a friend, it is crucial to identify what signs can be considered warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. These will help you know when to step in and advise your friend.

In this article, we'll explore the critical warning signs of an unhealthy relationship and guide being supportive when your friend tells you they are in one. But before that, let's look at unhealthy relationships in detail.

What Is an Unhealthy Relationship?

An unhealthy relationship is characterized by controlling, abusive, or harmful behaviors toward one or both partners. This can include physical, emotional, psychological, or sexual abuse and controlling behaviors like limiting access to friends, family, or resources.

Unhealthy relationships also often lack mutual respect, trust, and effective communication, leading to feelings of fear, insecurity, and low self-esteem for the victim. The victim may experience difficulty making decisions without the abuser's approval.

Your friend in an unhealthy relationship may not realise that they are. They often think of their relationship as 'normal' or will not label it as unhealthy. And thats why you are there as a friend to watch over them.

Warning Signs Your Friend Is in an Unhealthy Relationship

Alt: woman quarreling with a man in an unhealthy relationship.

Although it is difficult to know if your friend is in an unhealthy relationship, there are a few warning signs to look for to know whether or not your friend's relationship is unhealthy. The warning signs include:

Possessiveness or Overprotective

Your friend is in an unhealthy relationship when their partner or both are very jealous of each other to the point that your friend's partner or both partners want to control what each other does, whom they talk to, or spend time with.

The partner can also show possessiveness by getting upset when they see their partner texting or hanging out with friends.

The partners act jealous because they think the person their partner is hanging out with is a threat. They may also wrongly accuse their partner of flirting or cheating or even go so far as to stalk their partner.

If you see your friend is in such a relationship, it's high time for you to speak up because it's unhealthy for their well-being. Remind your friend they ought to be respected, and they are not their partner's property that should be controlled.

Therefore they should talk to their partner to change their behavior by seeking expert help. If the relationship continues to be unbearable, it is better to walk away than stay in an unhealthy relationship that may affect their mental health.

2. Manipulation and Blackmail

This is when a partner convinces the other to do something they don't want to do by manipulating or blackmailing them with something they know about or did.

For instance, a partner may blackmail their partner by threatening to tell the public their secrets or expose sensitive pictures or information of a partner if they disagree.

When you see your friend in a relationship that she has no say in or the partner tries to convince her to do what she does not like, and she ends up doing it, it is an unhealthy relationship.

3. Belittling

If your friend's partner calls her awful names, makes her feel bad, or puts her down, the relationship is unhealthy. No one can love someone and mistreat them.

If you hear your friend's partner calling them awful names, making nasty remarks, or criticizing them, that is already a warning sign of an unhealthy relationship.

It is time to tell your friend to make up their mind and step out of the relationship because such remarks will make them lose confidence or abilities over time.

4. Betrayal

Betrayal is when a partner discloses private information about you to the public, cheats on you, lies to you, or acts like a different person when they are with others.

Your friend is in an unhealthy relationship if their partner or both are disloyal or dishonest, cheating or lying to each other friend.

5. Blaming the Partner for Their Own Emotion

The blame game is typical in unhealthy relationships. It happens when one partner blames their partner for something they are not responsible for or did not do. For instance, a partner lashing out at another because they had a bad day at work or blaming them for their sad emotions.

If your friend is in this kind of relationship, it is a sign of a bad relationship, and it's time for you to support them to walk away or help them find a way to fix it if walking out is not an option for them.

They should know that blaming one another for their own emotions or something they didnt do is selfish.

Questions To Ask Your Friend WhenWorried About Their Relationship

Asking questions is one way of supporting your friends you think are in an unhealthy relationship. You can ask them the following questions;

• How they feel about the relationship and reflect on it together
• What do they usually argue about?
• What have they tried to make things work out in the relationship?
• How does your partner treat you when they are upset?
• What keeps them in that relationship?
• What's their plan if things don't change?
• Are they safe in their relationship?
• When was the last time they felt safe and happy in their relationship?
• How can you help in their relationship?
• How have things been between them?

What To Keep In Mind in an Unhealthy Relationship

If you have a friend in an unhealthy relationship, there are a few things to keep in mind:

Keep in mind that your friends' partners may have access to their cell phones. Therefore, set a time to talk to your friend privately or be careful when sending text messages.

Remember to plan for safety when helping a friend because they may be in danger when they step out of that relationship.

Keep in mind seeking help for yourself and your friend's sake because watching over someone in an unhealthy relationship is not easy.

Be patient when helping a friend in an unhealthy relationship because leaving is difficult. They take a while before they make up their mind, and if they make their decisions respect them.

Lastly, Keep in mind to watch out for any signs of abuse. Make a list if you find any.

Conclusion

If your friend's partner constantly puts them down, belittles them, puts them in a position where they have power over her, and controls their life, it could be a sign of an unhealthy relationship. It is time for you to speak up and be there for them to make a difference in your friend's life and relationship.

Remember that just because someone is famous or attractive doesn't mean they are suitable for you or your friend. Be careful when helping out a friend who is dating someone unsuitable for them.